Relationship status? It’s complicated
When people list their relationship status as “it’s complicated”, you may wonder what could be so complicated about it. Surely you are simply ‘single’ or ‘in a relationship’, right? Well, new research has emerged suggesting that for young people in particular, it’s not necessarily so straightforward. Although monogamy – an exclusive relationship with one partner – is still considered the ‘norm’ in our society, more casual relationships are increasingly common for adolescents.
When someone says ‘I’m in a relationship’, there’s a good chance you’ll picture a man and a woman in a steady, sexually exclusive relationship. And you wouldn’t be alone with that assumption. A study by four authors published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, confirmed that despite Western society becoming ever more permissive and accepting, monogamy is still considered to be the most desirable and ‘normal’ way to engage in a relationship.
So what’s the problem? Well, monogamy being placed as ‘the normal thing to do’ can mean that anyone choosing a non-traditional form of relationship, such as polyamory (multiple partners) or an open relationship (not sexually exclusive) may feel marginalised and excluded when
A notable minority of young people experience some form of aggression from their partner in their early relationships.
While the numbers vary from study to study, somewhere between 10%-48% of teens report experiencing physical aggression in their dating relationships (pushing, slapping, hitting, hitting the partner down), and one-quarter to one-half of report psychological aggression (making fun of their partner, screaming in their face, calling them names, saying negative things about their appearance).
Some 31% of girls and 16% of boys also experience sexual violence in their early relationships.
In some cases, the abuse can be less easy to spot. See our article on Controlling Partners for more information.
Why do people stay in abusive relationships?
Young people often stay in violent relationships for a number of reasons:
- they may feel guilty
- they may feel like it was their own fault
- they may justify the behaviour as ‘caring’
- they may begin to see the behaviour as normal
- or it may be that having a boy/girlfriend brings status.
Some people may think that if their partner is violent, it’s just a one-off occurrence. However, evidence shows that a violent partner is likely to be violent in the future if they do not
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